“I’ll miss
you. Try to come back soon.” Alec’s dark twinkling eyes were filled with worry
for me.
His hand fondled my cheek and he kissed me
there. His cute, boyish face was pleading silently for me to stay. I tried to
be brave and not show him my eyes filled with tears. I knew if I signaled my
reluctance to travel alone then he would take no time to carry me back home. The
twelve years of our marriage had taught me a lot of things about him. And the
first one was his over-concerned attitude for me.
“Honey, I am
just going to visit my aunt for a few weeks. I’ll be back soon.” I had to keep
reminding him as well as consoling myself repeatedly that these days would pass
quickly.
He nodded
and let go of me. I turned and stepped across the security gate of Indira
Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi. The check in counter of my flight
was loaded with travelers. But I was luckily spared the long waiting queue as
Alec had booked the business class seat for me. He’s always too thorough with
his work when it came to me.
I would
never understand what pleasure he drew by spending prolifically for me.
“You are
Alec Singhal’s wife. You must enjoy the perks.” He would often quote whenever I
questioned his generosity.
I walked into the terminal and
spotted the nearest book store. Normally, every woman drools around designer
outlets or jewellery showrooms. But I, on the other hand, could blissfully spend
my entire life surrounded with shelves over-loaded with books.
I skimmed around the colorful
covers and felt in heaven until my reverie was broken by an unwelcomed voice;
“How may I help you, madam?” A
deep voice echoed behind me. I yelped in shock and turned. I blinked twice till
I spotted a lean man in uniform gaping at me in expectation.
I sucked in a good amount of
breath to control my rising panic and shook my head in denial. Before he could
respond, I turned to my heels and stumbled my way out from the store as fast as
my clumsy feet could take me.
If I were the creator of this
world, I would have allotted a separate planet for all the men. I didn’t know why
but I was born with a weird phobia for men. My parents had tried all their
sources and money to find some treatment for this. But I would guess it’s more
of a deformity. If given a choice, I would never steer my way where any male
trespasser hovered.
Gratefully, I felt quite better
now as compared to my younger years when I would almost faint with fear when
any man tried to talk to me. Even Alec wasn't spared by my hostility. But he
was so positive about changing my feelings for him that despite of my lack of
faith in my own self; he managed to win my heart.
Right now, I was really not keen
on pushing my luck talking to any stranger, particularly men. I decided to
comfort myself in some lonely corner of the premium lounge. So, I followed the
signboards and made my way into the large first class lounge. Thankfully, it wasn't crowded. At this point I couldn't help but feel grateful to Alec for
considering a comfortable travelling for me.
I sat on a comfy leather sofa at
the far lonely corner and fished into my purse for my mobile. It buzzed right
on time to alert me and I knew it was my equally edgy husband on the line.
“Hi.” I smiled and whispered.
“Hey. Are you comfortable there?”
His anxious voice spoke from the other side.
I sighed and responded; “Yes. I am. Thank you
for the business class booking despite of my revolt.” I couldn't conceal the
relief in my voice.
I could feel him grinning widely
in triumph. “You deserve the best, always.”
My eyes pricked with tears
hearing him. Oh,
I love him so much that it hurts to part from him.
We were silent for a while till I
broke it. “Alec, I'm fine, really. Please don’t worry so much.”
“I don't know, Sophie. I should
have made you travel more with me. It’s just the idea of you being all alone
across the continents… what if…” he broke out.
Oh,
God, he’s really no help when I’m also in a panic mode. Instead of nurturing my nervousness, I always ended up nursing my
jittery husband. I shook my head.
“But you've made the best
arrangements for me. I would be grateful for that.” I smirked and he took a deep sigh.
“I’ll miss you, honey.” He
whispered after a beat.
“Me too.” I sniffed my stray tear
and disconnected the call.
Glancing at my watch, I realized
that I still had an hour before I boarded the flight. So, I decided on a cup of
hot tea and a salad. I hate to eat alone. It just makes you realize that you
are deprived of a reasonable company. So, I decided to open up my best friend…
my book and eat while reading.
I had the copy of the illustrated
works of Edgar Allen Poe in my bag. I opened it. It’s often said that ‘Poison
cuts Poison’. So, I had always hung along my self- imposed tagline that ‘Fear
cuts Fear’. I love to read horror or supernatural themes. It simply worked as a
therapy to shrink my inner dreads in front of the large horrors of the world.
Soon enough I heard the
announcement for boarding the flight.
I made my way to the gate and straight
into the airplane.
To my relief I was attended by a
female stewardess. I wondered if they had an option in the airlines to choose
your attendant along with the type of meal that you would prefer while on
board. Well, I was sure they didn't have to deal with the nutcases like me on
the regular bases.
The flight was long and tiring.
Yet I was luckily spared any unwanted company around me. Also, the movies and
my books kept me engrossed till the end. I didn't have the nerve to fall asleep
in the aircraft. Believe me, it’s a horrible sight to watch me sleep. I didn’t
know why but my subconscious mind played its dirty tricks on me whenever
slumber took over my aware mind. I end up screaming and yelling in my sleep.
Normally, Alec cuddled me back to sleep but it never helped me to overcome my
inner fears.
I wondered sometimes that how
even God permitted such a broken piece like me to enter His world. I was
nothing more than a handful of tiring burden. Such a weight that strangely,
first my parents and then Alec had been patiently enduring. I had always felt
like a broken china statue; although assembled by the binding glue of the love
of my family, yet never the same shining, new piece. I didn't know what broke
me from inside, but all that I could gather was that the unseen cracks pierced
into my soul were never to be healed by any kind of love or sympathy.
