THE GIFTED ANALOGY: Revised; Opening Chapter -III

“Don't be a coward. You are a grownup now. Be brave, you can do it.”

The words ringed in my ears. I knew that voice………Dave! I jerked to look around me. May be I was day dreaming, but I knew deep inside my soul that he was somewhere near me. It was although an instinctive gesture but I felt an urge to see him.

Like always, disappointment smirked at me. But I tried to absorb in his voice that always acted as the soothing blow of air to awaken my senses and open my mind to new horizons.

I closed my eyes to gather courage. Those words were magical. I gallantly went forward with the program numbing my senses else they could always lend strange uncanny possibilities to my brain.

The air was very cool and pleasant outside the airport. Europe was so astonishingly breathtaking that I could have never imagined any heaven so perfect. The greenery, the freshness, the atmosphere so pleasing and beautiful that it seemed as if its beauty was in its complete bloom and was welcoming me with all its warmth and love. I felt like ‘I was home!’

A few more hours of train journey gifted me more chances to explore the beautiful and magnificent place. It seemed as if the time had come to a halt. My eyes kept capturing the pictures of the gorgeous scenery and greenery all around. The openness, the vast fields that covered the horizon and bestowed the richness of the country were soothing for any vision. Far away, somewhere a glimpse of life assured that the world dwelling even in the remote and solitude places depicted the lifestyle full of fascination. My eyes failed to close, in spite of a long 8-hour journey from one continent to another.

Finally, the train stopped at Angelston. It was a small station with less people hovering around. My heart beat picked its acceleration. I looked around finding any soul. But it was quiet and empty. I could see some counters flashing the sign boards of refreshments, Cab, etc. I wondered if I was at the wrong place. India has always been so full of people that I never thought I could reach such an inhabitable place in Europe itself. My tears were ready to leap out of my eyes, when I saw a person sitting on the counter with the board of TAXI, written above it. I treaded there hurriedly.

“Hi, I need a cab.” I spoke still panting, mustering enough courage to help myself reach my destination. Thank God, there’s no male!

The lean girl with a round face looked at me through her tiny glasses and nodded. She called out behind her while handing me a ticket. A stout and large man leaped from behind and offered to take my luggage. I hesitated a bit.

‘You can do this, Sophie!’ Tears pricked my eyes. I sucked in a deep breath and called all my prayers while following him to the cab. My hands felt cold and my stomach churned as I sat on the seat.

“Where to?” His husky voice gave me a chill. I literally jumped on my seat hearing him talk.

I opened up my address diary to confirm Aunt Anna’s address.

“Mm, Saint Martin Street.” I stuttered. He nodded in response.

Gratefully, the driver was a quiet person. He didn’t utter anything the entire way. That gave my edginess some comfort. I could ease off and enjoy the way quietly, ignoring the fact that a stranger was driving the cab. I looked out of the window and grasped the view of the town. This place would be my shelter for next few weeks. I sighed.

Angelston was not what I had been expecting. It was a small town with the population not over 10,000. The travel guide I bought on the way told me that the town was built in the 14^th century. It seemed as if it was a jumble of colors: grey-green hillsides of terraced olive groves; black-cypress forests; red-roofed town villas, under the magnificent blue sky.

Its architecture had a precision that was similarly jewel-like. It was filled with miniature Venetian Gothic and Renaissance palaces whose balconies almost touched above the narrow streets. The sky was covered with deep navy blue clouds that added to the ambiguity. So mysterious and enigmatic the view was that I almost forgot to keep a check on the way to Aunt Anna’s house.

The cab crossed a narrow street to reach a place where all the houses looked completely identical. Red-roofed, white walls, large windows with pale brown borders, were the distinct features of the houses. There were low, white fences all over to symbolize the territorial boundaries.

Aunt Anna lived all alone in one of those houses. I called out the number Twenty Six to the driver who pulled the car to the last house in the right row of the street. The house was, although the same, but the small garden in the front seemed well maintained with some lovely variety of flowers and shrubs. It was small yet quite pretty with the blend of vivid colors enhancing its dream like appearance. The blue painted, wooden main door possessed a tiny porch for a wooden chair to adjust its place between two white pillars that held the red slanting roof covering the open area and numerous small pots filled with tiny shrubs, herbs and plantations.

I wondered that if Aunt Anna was so unwell, then who helped her in taking care of the house and maintaining it for her. I knew about her lonely living as she never married anyone. It always made me wonder how she had led her life in complete solitude for over fifty years, without any family. Mom used to tell me that she went to UK for her further studies, when she was barely twenty and since then, she had been living in Angelston all by herself. Her career profile indicated that she had worked at the Prime University as their head professor and researcher for thirty five years, till her health seized to permit her any further exertion.

“Sophie, is that you?” A feminine voice called, as I was about to press the doorbell button.

A lean old woman opened the door. She looked much like my mother if their features were taken into consideration, but just a few years older. She was fair complexioned with light white hair, hanging on her shoulders, her large dark eyes twinkled with emotions. Overall, she had a very graceful look. Although age wise she was old, but her eyes had a spark of a young child. I glanced at her and wished deeply to look like her when I grow older. She was pretty and very serene with a strange heavenly glow of contentment.

Her fair-wrinkled face could not help much in hiding the happiness she felt when she saw me. Her eyes gleamed with joy and affection as she embraced me tightly. I automatically hugged her back, her warmth made me feel as if I was back home in the arms of my mom.

“Ah, my child!” Her voice was like a whisper.

“How was your journey, dear?” She smiled widely exposing her white teeth. “Look, how grown up you are!” Her painfully stretched lips indicated how excited she was to see me.

I sighed trying to absorb such a genuine affection in the place far away from my home.

“Aunt Anna, I am a mother now. That makes me a grown up.” I tried to reflect the same mood.

THE GIFTED ANALOGY: Revised; Opening Chapter -II

I had been dwelling with the unknown pain since I could remember. Maybe, the material used to manufacture me must be of bad quality and henceforth, I stated my phobias and nightmares as the childhood deformity.     

I reached the Heathrow Airport, London and walked following the sign boards as well as the fellow passengers to collect my luggage. While waiting for my suitcase to appear, my mind drifted to adversities.

Why on earth did I agree to all this? Suddenly, I felt so lonely. I was standing on an unknown land, with no experience of travelling alone and far away from my family. My hands and feet felt cold. I shivered with the realization. I should have refused the first time when my mom came up with the idea of me visiting her elder sister, Anna who’s unwell and had demanded specifically for me to come and see her on urgent basis.

I wondered what was so urgent that only I could manage to go. I agree that my parents’ passports were expired and would take some time to be renewed. Alec could not spare so many days for travelling due to his business in India. And Aunt Anna threw a load of tantrums that would not suit a sixty-nine year old lady otherwise. But she sounded totally insistent and really could not spare another day waiting for someone to reach her. Not leaving behind my mother who displayed her own kind of drama to push me into travelling to Europe to see her elder sister who lived all by herself in a house in Angelston.

“She needs us. It’s not her age to live all alone in the land which does not hold her roots.” She pleaded me to try to understand her plight. But frankly, if the things were that bad, she could always come back to her native land, India. But mom thought otherwise that it’s not that easy to leave everything and come back at such a tender age and start everything all over again in some other place.

I was always told that Aunt Anna had never traveled back to India after settling herself in UK almost fifty years ago, except when I was born. That did not quite seem to be a convincing celebrated event that could compel her to visit her native but abandoned country. Yet her unmatched presents always reached me on every occasion that I could recall. But personally, I never claimed a chance to meet her.

Now I was badly hooked by those sisters to behave like an obedient child and travel like the Little Red Riding Hood went to visit her Old Granny in the lonely wild woods, the only difference lied in that here I could almost find every single person resemble The Big Bad Wolf.

My mind drifted to the realization that how I had always urged to visit this part of the world. I yearned to unleash the beautiful mysteries of the cultures and palaces of Europe. It always fascinated me, as if I had always been a part of all this.

‘But such opportunities are hard to approach to a simple housewife.’ My subconscious always told me.

 I although had never nourished any regrets about the speedy turning points that my life had always showed me with. But it was just that some things could have waited for a longer period of time before they came comparatively sooner to me. Like my marriage, when I was barely of the age of twenty and the marital responsibilities kept me awfully engrossed in trying to cope up with the sudden commitment. Our daughter, Tia, stepped into our lives seven years later. How could I have chased my dreams when I was busy changing diapers and working over becoming a perfect mother and a wife?

Life is so unpredictable. We generally accept the changes with open arms and forget the past and go on with the flow. This could be conveniently said about my personality. Now at the age of 32, I missed my girlhood that got lost somewhere in the role of a wife and a mother. Mostly women like me found their consolations in their offspring. I had always thought that Tia would live those days of my youth that I had missed in this lifetime.

I married Alec in such circumstances that it felt more like a compromise that I had willfully made for my parents. Initially, it was hard for me to love a man who was a stranger and a perfect antonym to my dream prince; a world I was in and the world I always dreamt to be in! But it’s not necessary that the picture we paint of someone whom we can define as ‘perfect’ by our own limited set of knowledge ought to be the one? If we open our minds, we can find many people who can be defined perfect in their own ways.

Call me a dreamer or a romantic but I too had a love story. It sounded bizarre but I had opened my eyes to this creepy world, only to see him! When every inch of my body agonized and tormented in fear of the living creatures of this world, he saved me from myself. He cuddled me to sleep when I screamed in terror at night. He stood beside me, sometimes as a dear friend, sometimes like a lover, and sometimes as my guide. He’s the personification of all my dreams and desires, my cure for loneliness, the deity of deep passion and love…Dave!

My heart swelled with the single call of his name. He had always filled the void my loneliness had built; and gave me answers to all my problems and confusions. He dwelled in my heart and spoke in my thoughts (And that’s where I had always met him). I always felt loved and cared, just the way I wanted to be. It’s just so easy to be with him.

My marriage could never separate Dave from me. He had always been a part of my existence. If he would have been in real, then he could easily overcome Alec in every aspect. Maybe, I could overcome my mental defects if Dave would have been in body and flesh as my life partner.

I shook my head to wade away his thoughts. Although, he had always made me feel his presence in my dreams but in recent years I felt rather disconnected with those visions. Instead I saw myself with Alec in my weird dreams!

‘So, my mind too finally accepted him.’ I realized one day after such a dream. It was definitely a tough fight. Although, Alec wasn't aware of my mind, he only thought that I was an introvert and a reserved girl. But he waited unmoved and patiently for my acceptance of his selfless love for me.

‘The poor fellow loves me too much.’ I sighed recalling my indifference for his love in our initial years of marriage. But Alec never complained. He always supported me like a true partner. He always believed that love can melt the hardest mountain in the world. All the above, his belief was accurate in melting my feelings for him at least. A tear dropped from my eyes as I recalled the present geographical distance that separated me from him.

 I collected my baggage and stepped out following the sign boards to encounter a large country waiting to haunt me with its strangeness. I shivered at the thought looking around the unfamiliar place and people. I literally scolded myself on agreeing to my mother’s bizarre demand for me to travel alone. Didn't she know how the unknown plague me?

‘What’s the use cursing now, Sophie? Beyond your cowardliness lies your respect for your parents and willingness to serve them.’ I tried to console myself.

 I needed to be brave and head towards the search for the cab to the station to board the train to Angelston. It all seemed too tedious. Alec had spoilt me so much that I felt helpless doing anything all by myself. I wished so much that he was around. The enormous airport itself was making me nervous. Though Alec had booked everything in advance and explained me all very clearly, still I felt like a lost child in the crowded market place.