THE GIFTED ANALOGY: Revised; Opening Chapter -II

I had been dwelling with the unknown pain since I could remember. Maybe, the material used to manufacture me must be of bad quality and henceforth, I stated my phobias and nightmares as the childhood deformity.     

I reached the Heathrow Airport, London and walked following the sign boards as well as the fellow passengers to collect my luggage. While waiting for my suitcase to appear, my mind drifted to adversities.

Why on earth did I agree to all this? Suddenly, I felt so lonely. I was standing on an unknown land, with no experience of travelling alone and far away from my family. My hands and feet felt cold. I shivered with the realization. I should have refused the first time when my mom came up with the idea of me visiting her elder sister, Anna who’s unwell and had demanded specifically for me to come and see her on urgent basis.

I wondered what was so urgent that only I could manage to go. I agree that my parents’ passports were expired and would take some time to be renewed. Alec could not spare so many days for travelling due to his business in India. And Aunt Anna threw a load of tantrums that would not suit a sixty-nine year old lady otherwise. But she sounded totally insistent and really could not spare another day waiting for someone to reach her. Not leaving behind my mother who displayed her own kind of drama to push me into travelling to Europe to see her elder sister who lived all by herself in a house in Angelston.

“She needs us. It’s not her age to live all alone in the land which does not hold her roots.” She pleaded me to try to understand her plight. But frankly, if the things were that bad, she could always come back to her native land, India. But mom thought otherwise that it’s not that easy to leave everything and come back at such a tender age and start everything all over again in some other place.

I was always told that Aunt Anna had never traveled back to India after settling herself in UK almost fifty years ago, except when I was born. That did not quite seem to be a convincing celebrated event that could compel her to visit her native but abandoned country. Yet her unmatched presents always reached me on every occasion that I could recall. But personally, I never claimed a chance to meet her.

Now I was badly hooked by those sisters to behave like an obedient child and travel like the Little Red Riding Hood went to visit her Old Granny in the lonely wild woods, the only difference lied in that here I could almost find every single person resemble The Big Bad Wolf.

My mind drifted to the realization that how I had always urged to visit this part of the world. I yearned to unleash the beautiful mysteries of the cultures and palaces of Europe. It always fascinated me, as if I had always been a part of all this.

‘But such opportunities are hard to approach to a simple housewife.’ My subconscious always told me.

 I although had never nourished any regrets about the speedy turning points that my life had always showed me with. But it was just that some things could have waited for a longer period of time before they came comparatively sooner to me. Like my marriage, when I was barely of the age of twenty and the marital responsibilities kept me awfully engrossed in trying to cope up with the sudden commitment. Our daughter, Tia, stepped into our lives seven years later. How could I have chased my dreams when I was busy changing diapers and working over becoming a perfect mother and a wife?

Life is so unpredictable. We generally accept the changes with open arms and forget the past and go on with the flow. This could be conveniently said about my personality. Now at the age of 32, I missed my girlhood that got lost somewhere in the role of a wife and a mother. Mostly women like me found their consolations in their offspring. I had always thought that Tia would live those days of my youth that I had missed in this lifetime.

I married Alec in such circumstances that it felt more like a compromise that I had willfully made for my parents. Initially, it was hard for me to love a man who was a stranger and a perfect antonym to my dream prince; a world I was in and the world I always dreamt to be in! But it’s not necessary that the picture we paint of someone whom we can define as ‘perfect’ by our own limited set of knowledge ought to be the one? If we open our minds, we can find many people who can be defined perfect in their own ways.

Call me a dreamer or a romantic but I too had a love story. It sounded bizarre but I had opened my eyes to this creepy world, only to see him! When every inch of my body agonized and tormented in fear of the living creatures of this world, he saved me from myself. He cuddled me to sleep when I screamed in terror at night. He stood beside me, sometimes as a dear friend, sometimes like a lover, and sometimes as my guide. He’s the personification of all my dreams and desires, my cure for loneliness, the deity of deep passion and love…Dave!

My heart swelled with the single call of his name. He had always filled the void my loneliness had built; and gave me answers to all my problems and confusions. He dwelled in my heart and spoke in my thoughts (And that’s where I had always met him). I always felt loved and cared, just the way I wanted to be. It’s just so easy to be with him.

My marriage could never separate Dave from me. He had always been a part of my existence. If he would have been in real, then he could easily overcome Alec in every aspect. Maybe, I could overcome my mental defects if Dave would have been in body and flesh as my life partner.

I shook my head to wade away his thoughts. Although, he had always made me feel his presence in my dreams but in recent years I felt rather disconnected with those visions. Instead I saw myself with Alec in my weird dreams!

‘So, my mind too finally accepted him.’ I realized one day after such a dream. It was definitely a tough fight. Although, Alec wasn't aware of my mind, he only thought that I was an introvert and a reserved girl. But he waited unmoved and patiently for my acceptance of his selfless love for me.

‘The poor fellow loves me too much.’ I sighed recalling my indifference for his love in our initial years of marriage. But Alec never complained. He always supported me like a true partner. He always believed that love can melt the hardest mountain in the world. All the above, his belief was accurate in melting my feelings for him at least. A tear dropped from my eyes as I recalled the present geographical distance that separated me from him.

 I collected my baggage and stepped out following the sign boards to encounter a large country waiting to haunt me with its strangeness. I shivered at the thought looking around the unfamiliar place and people. I literally scolded myself on agreeing to my mother’s bizarre demand for me to travel alone. Didn't she know how the unknown plague me?

‘What’s the use cursing now, Sophie? Beyond your cowardliness lies your respect for your parents and willingness to serve them.’ I tried to console myself.

 I needed to be brave and head towards the search for the cab to the station to board the train to Angelston. It all seemed too tedious. Alec had spoilt me so much that I felt helpless doing anything all by myself. I wished so much that he was around. The enormous airport itself was making me nervous. Though Alec had booked everything in advance and explained me all very clearly, still I felt like a lost child in the crowded market place.